9 Intentionally Bad lines

Oh work, you are my frenemy. You give me money, which helps me to pay bills and generally buy things to help me stay alive. But you also suck…you are a constant stress in my life and take up way more time than you should.

angry computer

One day work. One day.

Putting out more fires than normal at work while trying to complete some ongoing projects has sapped my writing concentration and left a few posts I’ve been working on in a holding pattern. But, as I read through the collection of blogs I follow (check ’em out in the list to the right if you haven’t already…there are some really good sites), I latched onto an idea prompted by Sacha Black on opening and closing lines. More specifically, writing intentionally bad lines.

I have a warped sense of humor, and the bad line idea seized control of my mind. I wrote one and couldn’t stop myself. I was only limited by the speed my fingers could hit the keys. Bizarre analogies, terribly worded sentences, redundant phrasing; it all gave my mind a much needed refocus. Before I knew it, I had a whole list. And so, breaking from my “usual” posts, I’m going to run with some of the better (worse?) ones I came up with.

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Well, That Just Happened…

It may just be a popular meme, but with the utter dependence on love of our smart phones, I doubt that’s the case. So, I feel I can say with some degree of certainty that I may be one of only 93 people in the modern world who doesn’t bring my phone with me to the bathroom. And that’s worked out nicely so far, especially since I’ve never had to resurrect my phone after it was accidentally sacrificed to the porcelain god…though I’ve heard plenty of horror stories.

phone water

Um, let’s just keep this between us.

Well, I learned an important lesson recently: it’s actually not that bad of an idea to bring a phone with you into the restroom at work.

And yes, everything you are about to read actually happened.

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