Anyone Seen A Post Around Here?

There was one, I know it. Though I’m not sure where it’s gone.
I’ve checked the closet, the guest room, the attic; even out in the lawn.
I worry I won’t see it again. It’s such a frail thing.
Can anybody help me please? I’m hanging by a string.

 

I didn’t leave it at the bar; and was told to stop looking there.
911 said it’s no emergency, in defiance of my despair.
The police came to my house and issued me a citation,
They told me not to call again, and put me on probation.

 

The neighbors shake their heads, and the postman doesn’t have it.
It’s absent from my spam folder, and I don’t like this one bit.
It’s not at the bank, the Walgreens, the store.
I’m going mad and can take it no more.

 

So I’m resigned to sit here and weep bitterly,
The victim of some dark wizardry.
Could it be voodoo, a jinx, a malediction, a curse?
Or maybe something much, much worse?

 

Alas, the search is simply imagination,
And truly is the result of consternation.
That’s right, I saw my words up and vanish,
Making this hunt false, and merely outlandish.

 

But a few ideas have returned to me,
And I am quite pleased to see
A tiny, small glimmer of light,
As I sit and again start to write.

 

search

 

Ok, Shel Silverstein I’m not…but I figured this would be a light-hearted way to say that I think I’ve reemerged from the rock I’ve been under lately. And to those of you who emailed me to check on me, no I haven’t been trapped in my office’s restroom. I did have a “hiatus message” all written up, but awesomely, I didn’t check to make sure I posted the message…leaving it unhelpfully in my draft pile.

Continue reading

9 Intentionally Bad lines

Oh work, you are my frenemy. You give me money, which helps me to pay bills and generally buy things to help me stay alive. But you also suck…you are a constant stress in my life and take up way more time than you should.

angry computer

One day work. One day.

Putting out more fires than normal at work while trying to complete some ongoing projects has sapped my writing concentration and left a few posts I’ve been working on in a holding pattern. But, as I read through the collection of blogs I follow (check ’em out in the list to the right if you haven’t already…there are some really good sites), I latched onto an idea prompted by Sacha Black on opening and closing lines. More specifically, writing intentionally bad lines.

I have a warped sense of humor, and the bad line idea seized control of my mind. I wrote one and couldn’t stop myself. I was only limited by the speed my fingers could hit the keys. Bizarre analogies, terribly worded sentences, redundant phrasing; it all gave my mind a much needed refocus. Before I knew it, I had a whole list. And so, breaking from my “usual” posts, I’m going to run with some of the better (worse?) ones I came up with.

Continue reading